9. Learn to Throw a Punch.

I believe in peace.  I remember screaming, crying, and jumping in the middle of a playground brawl that my older brother, John, got himself into as a child.  "Stop it, stop it, stop it!" I yelled.  And I broke it up.  I hate war, I'm disgusted by bar fights, I despise arguments... Physical aggression and yelling have no place in my life, unless they're, you know, consensual. *wink!*

But Dan Darling gave me this fabulous idea that I should get in a fight as one of my hundred things, and well, I was intrigued.  I've never experienced the adrenaline rush of fist on skin, the crack of my knuckles as they break a nose, the anger and release of anger.  Plus, I just wanted to know how bad I'd be at it.  Or maybe I'd be good at it?

You want to be the red guy!

I started by doing what anyone would do: I googled "how to fight".  Just reading the tips that came up was enough to talk me out of it.  One website told me to punch my knuckles together in order to destroy or desensitize the nerves.  Another page taught me how to head butt, bringing my head down onto the bridge of another person's nose to disable him.  I learned the importance of not letting my opponent get me to the floor (you're pretty much getting your ass kicked if that happens) and what to do if I end up there anyway.

No bueno.

This fighting is serious business, folks, and I don't want to get hurt.  Am I a wimp?  Am I just being a chicken?  I'm not sure yet, so I decided to start by taking a safe little boxing lesson.  Maybe I'll get in a real fight by the end of the Project, but for now, just knowing how to punch is enough.

I showed up at Northwest Fighting Arts during a tai chi class, still not believing what I was about to do.  I let the slow, detailed movements of the students calm my nerves.  I filled out paperwork, sweat a little, and acted very serious and respectful, mostly concealing the fact that I was sort of checking out all the dudes.  But I swear, I spent more time being nervous than checking out dudes!  Then Jeff came and collected me from my bench.  He had me kick my shoes off and put on some boxing gloves, then we went for it. 

Sometimes I think we adults never try anything new because we aren't okay with not being perfect the first time.  Looking like an asshole is uncomfortable; messing up is humbling, admitting you're not perfect takes patience and practice.  And I wasn't perfect.  My million trillion years of dance training didn't really have my back here; Jeff immediately taught me to lift my shoulder to my cheek when I punched, which is exactly opposite from what I've always practiced.  It was foreign movement, the rules had changed, and I was at the edge of my comfort zone.  I squeezed my shoulder to my face and tried to be okay with not being perfect.  I threw some punches, blocked my face, chased Jeff around, ducked, and smiled.  I smiled the whole damn time (which I think would be unsettling to my opponent were I in a real fight... could put me at an advantage.  I've gotta remember that.).

So, now I know how to punch.  Maybe someday I'll get to use this new skill!  Oh, god, who am I kidding.  I'm not going to be getting in any fights.